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  • SAMR – Plane

    April 13, 2023 / No Comments
    plane
    How stupid is this action movie?

    If you know anything about avionics, you’ll be working hard to suspend your disbelief. There are other points where you really have to squint to stay with the story. Also, Gerard Butler suddenly becomes proficient at fixing all kinds of things and knows how to move in a military combat way about 1/3 from the end. Despite getting the shit kicked out of him in the rest of the movie.

    Would I let the little’un and the big’un watch it?

    There are a ton of F-bombs, which is standard fare in our house and the worst of the violence is off screen, so yeah. They weren’t interested in it. Come to think of it, they are rarely interested in watching TV these days.

    What I liked:
    • Gerard Butler is always fun.
    • There were a couple of choice comedy moments.
    • I feel like the passenger reactions throughout were pretty spot on.
    • The number of casualties was way less than expected and I’m not sure how I feel about it. Every time one of us said, “Oh, he’s dead,” we were wrong.
    What I didn’t like:
    • Not sure if Gerard Butler’s dad bod was intentional.
    • Gaspare’s story line just … ends. I wanted a post credits scene showing him on a beach somewhere.
    • Watching this with someone who took flight lessons led to several MST3K moments concerning the plane itself.
    Overall impression:

    It threaded the line between good stupid and bad stupid. Watching it once was an entertaining way to spend a random Wednesday night. Once was also enough.

    How to watch:

    Rent on demand for $5.99 currently. I’m sure it’ll be streaming somewhere soon.

    Too stupid even for me.

    Meh.

    It was fun.

    I’d watch it again.

    I own it.

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  • SAMR—Bullet Train

    November 30, 2022 / No Comments
    when-will-bullet-train-be-on-netflix
    How stupid is this action movie?

    It’s … actually not that stupid, if you suspend disbelief surrounding the multiple assassins/crime boss plot.

    Would I let the little’un and the big’un watch it?

    I would, with the caveat that my kids aren’t sensitive to stupid action movies from sheer exposure. LOL They weren’t at all interested in this one.

    What I liked:
    • The twists were predictable, but the cameos really weren’t (for me, at least). I had no idea so many big names were in this.
    • The fight scenes were inventive and well choreographed.
    • Parts were very funny.
    What I didn’t like:
    • It seems like the entire film was an excuse for the actors and crew to fool around, and although entertaining, it had so much potential to be great where it relied too much on standard tropes.
    • Brad Pitt’s character was such a caricature, it detracted from the fun for me.
    • The way everything was interwoven was a bit much.
    Overall impression:

    I enjoyed it. Somewhat goofy, but it held my attention and entertained.

    How to watch:

    Amazon Prime Video

    Too stupid even for me.

    Meh.

    It was fun.

    I’d watch it again.

    I own it.

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  • SAMR – The Gray Man

    July 27, 2022 / No Comments
    gray man
    How stupid is this action movie?

    It’s standard super-spy stupid. People do things that probably aren’t possible (fighting with serious injuries) but it’s all pretty standard action movie fare.

    Would I let the little’un and the big’un watch it?

    Hmm. The level of violence is John Wick-ish even though it’s rated PG13. My kiddos are used to me watching stupid action movies so are probably a bit numb to it. They wandered through a few times for snacks in the kitchen, but weren’t interested in watching. There’s a torture scene that squicked Jason out. The level of cursing is surprisingly low given the number of injuries sustained, and there are on screen deaths. I’d probably let them watch if they wanted, but at the same time I’m glad they didn’t.

    What I liked:
    • I had no idea what the movie was about when Jason put it on. After the initial sequence I said it was promising and if there were explosions I’d love it. The next scene was fireworks exploding.
    • The fight scenes were well choreographed and I enjoyed the car chases also.
    • Ana de Armas was excellent, as was Julia Butters.
    What I didn’t like:
    • The end fight. Sure, it was fun to watch, but a professional would have just shot him and been done with it.
    • The obvious sequel bait of not revealing the identity of the string puller. I’ve since read there is going to be a cinematic universe around this, so okay, I get it. Still salty they left such a huge plot hole.
    • Billy Bob Thornton’s character arc. I understand why they did it, but I liked him as the guy in the chair.
    Overall impression:

    I enjoyed it. Fun, good story, Chris Evans as a bad guy is a snack and a half. I never saw Ryan Gosling as an action dude, but he works it. I’m glad they’re making a sequel and spinoff, and I’ll watch them.

    How to watch:

    Netflix

    Too stupid even for me.

    Meh.

    It was fun.

    I’d watch it again.

    I own it.

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  • SAMR – Godzilla vs Kong

    April 3, 2021 / No Comments
    How stupid is this action movie?

    There are several groan-worthy moments, and you’ll need to check your science, logic, time, and spatial awareness at the door. It’s not as bad in this regard as the first in this trilogy where Ford must have teleportation powers to be at the center of every major event whether it’s in Japan or on a train in the US midwest or a boat in the Pacific, but there’s definitely some Santa’s sleigh level travel going on in this one.

    Would I let the little’un and the big’un watch it?

    Yep. There are a couple of mild curse words (shit is the only one I can recall right now). The fight sequences are solidly action, with very little blood. Both Godzilla and Kong are damaged, but aside from some gross moments that are more silly than anything else (like Godzilla eating one of Ghidora’s heads at the end of King of Monsters) the only thing that might bother some younger kiddos is the large amount of faceless/nameless characters who are cannon fodder. A couple of main characters do die, but the camera cuts after the set up, so the actual death isn’t on screen.

    What I liked:
    • The big reveal. I may have squee’d a little.
    • The fight sequences between Godzilla and Kong. I especially liked that their moves were consistent with past movies and they fought like animals rather than men in suits.
    • The boss fight was believably tough. Even if you know how it’ll all turn out, it’s possible not everyone is getting out alive.
    • Jia (played by Kaylee Hottle). She made me believe.
    What I didn’t like:
    • I’m gonna get slammed for this, but Madison Russell (Millie Bobby Brown). I wasn’t super fond of her character in King, but she’s even flatter in this one. She’s there solely to up the stakes, and it’s obvious and unnecessary.
    • Likewise Julian Dennison (Josh Valentine). His character was completely unnecessary.
    • The glossing over of quite a few plot points. There were a lot of moments where you just had to accept things existed and/or worked the way they did because… reasons.
    Overall impression:

    Super fun, mindless entertainment. It feels a bit on the long side, but there’s plenty of action once it gets going. The ending is satisfying, the rivalry works, the CGI is impressive and the overall atmosphere of the movie is nice. Suspend your disbelief hard and it’s a fun way to spend almost two hours.

    3.5 Stupid Action Movie Stars

    Too stupid even for me.

    Meh.

    It was fun.

    I’d watch it again.

    I own it.

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